What am I looking for? 

A requirement or a compulsion

Advertisements

I’m reading a book today (which is rare considering my concentration as well as patience levels). Just like everyone else, I have a mobile, a smartphone- rather an over smart phone. Keeping the discussion about my phone for some other day, We would rather talk about my reactions rather in this post. With no social networking apps except Quora and Watsapp installed on my phone per se, it is mostly a congestion free screen that exists on the oversmart phone. 

It’s a Sunday evening and I’m in the train, travelling back home from a 3-day trip. Nobody’s calling, there are no watsapp pings, no messages and absolutely nothing which pops up on my screen except a shopping website telling me what the user would love and what the user would not want to miss upon every now and then. There’s another music app which wants the user to bounce on the latest music playlist they’ve curated for me. 
I press the centre button, open Watsapp and there are no messages. Disappointment, even though everyone was clear with no pings on the screen. I can feel disappointed, despite knowing there’s not going to be any Djinn discovery. I open the browser and refresh the Facebook timeline, no notifications there. Next comes Quora and after going through a few answers on the latest newsfeed, I press the power button to switch off my screen and go back to my book. And this process is repeated, again, and again, after every 10-15 minutes. The entire activity takes a good over 5 minutes, every single time effectively- 20 mins every hour. 

There’s nobody who’s call is expected, there’s no one waiting for me beyond reasons, there’s no pressing need that requires my immediate attention. And I still feel the anxiety of not having a notification, not even a single notification. Is mobile an addiction or is it out of a compulsion I’m doing this? With being as clueless about what I’m looking for in my mobile phone or probably my life, there’s, for sure, something that is being searched and nobody knows what it is and/or where it is? For sure, it is adding up to the anxiety levels and is totally unhealthy. 

Trying to breakthrough the monotony of mobile, 

A.